people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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