I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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