Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
