I've blown a few things in my day
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
