im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
