did you get engaged???
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize