I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
