so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
