why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
