Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
