better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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