I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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