I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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