ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
3pm strippers are depressing
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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