I wish you could order shots online.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
