I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
