I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
