Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize