That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
