What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize