I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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