i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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