Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
