but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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