absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I need to stop coming to work sober
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
