She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize