dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Soap is not a condiment
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
