your parents love me but you hate me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
