it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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