I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
