It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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