I wanna passion pit in your ass
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
