I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
