At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
