Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Randomize
