I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
