You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
