is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
