she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
