There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
