My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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