I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
