i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
