Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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