ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Who wears a wallet chain?!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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