Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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