I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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