Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
