Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
