I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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