he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
did i just pee glitter
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
