arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I could make wine with my vomit
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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