I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
