Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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