Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
