You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
