just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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