she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
