is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
