You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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