Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
