Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
