Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
