We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
