office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
