when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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