Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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