Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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