Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
