Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
