last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
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