my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
