Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
His hands were made for my vagina.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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