yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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